Twi-Merch Fail

As many people have figured out, Twilight is kind of a big thing. Not only have they realized that it's a big thing, but, they've realized it's a cash cow. They've caught onto the fact that twifans want to buy merch, which means there's now a lot of people trying to get a piece of that pie.

After the ladies over at Twitarded introduced me to the wonderful twi-merch over at Etsy I've been looking around and checking out what they have.

There are some great, awesome, things out there! You can spend hours finding all kinds of super cool Twilight things that are everything from subtle to out loud. While pouring through the awesome though, there was a whole lot of awful that kept catching my eye. Here I want to take a moment to tip hats to the awful :)

One of my faves is the Twi themed bath products. I kind of get the spritzers and the perfumes, but, the soap, body butter, salt scrub, and whipped cream soap?

Out of this category, one caught my eye as particularly bad, just a little something called The Bella Bomb. Reading the description makes me think they haven't really read the book. But beyond that, what about red and gray blobs on a bath bomb particularly say Bella? They do kind of vaguely mention that it has an energizing, mysterious and powerfully seductive scent, and other than she smells good to all the vamps, this just seems like a reach...maybe they're going for the idea that you'll smell like Bella if you soak in this? I guess that would be better than thinking you're soaking in Bella bits (which is kind of what the gray and red may imply)

at least the Edward sparkle bath bomb by the same seller has some glittery stuff in it, and hey, you can pretend you're bathing in some Edward ;) That's a concept I think people will more get behind ...

Then there's the shoes, while there were some good efforts on Twilight sneaks, and some that are good enough I would actually think about wearing out, there were also these Edward Sneakers that make me think it's time to go back to the drawing board and try again. I mean I like Edward as much as the next person, but, glitter gluing a poster of him to my tacky shoes does not necessarily make them awesome.



Again with necklaces, there are actually a lot of very cool things. The "Look after my heart" theme has actually spawned some beautiful pieces, some beautiful pieces and then this Seaglass necklace which just looks like you stuck an apple flavor jolly rancher glob to an apple charm. Doesn't really make me think Twi just by seeing it.



Another necklace that is a nice concept that just didn't translate well is the Bella Wire Necklace Maybe not so hot to wear as a fashion accessory, but, may be helpful with identification when she had an accident (pre vamp days)



This Hair Fork just plain old made me laugh. I don't get it, but, it's somehow SO funny! At first I couldn't get over thinking it was a "be safe" Fro pick and then I saw the "demonstration picture" and they actually mean it to be worn as a fancy up-do accessory. Somehow something that looks like I beat it out of a hubcap just doesn't say dressy to me...



When I first saw this Forks Yarn it made me think that's COMPLETLY reaching, but, on second thought could see A LOT of people buying these color combos to knit their own scarves with, especially the Edward's Hair variety (off to figure out how to make myself a hair scarf ...)



While this Magnet Ring concept is kind of cool, being able to change out the picture and all, these pictures aren't really the kind I'd want to wear on my hand (again disproving the concept that you can just throw a movie poster on there and it'll make it cool). Although I'm sure there's some fan out there that will just think it's the bees knees.



mmMoxie pointed me towards this gem which is entirely creepy and labeled solely as Robert Pattinson



Closing in on the creepy here with a mandatory creepy doll (you knew there'd be at least one) Renesmee in tutu who's wearing a fairly odd t-shirt. I guess it would be the same as sticking any kid in a shirt that reads "my parents fell in love" or "love child" although with the whole birthing scene, you'd think they really wouldn't want to call attention to the whole "how she got here" issue...



And finally one that is so terrible, it's back to awesome, glow in the dark RPattz soap! Now you too can wash your naughty bits with RPattz face (all the while being able to see him enjoying it, in the dark no less!)